Friday, October 30, 2009

Because I Can Hardly Keep My Eyes Open

It's been a long day. Halloween celebration at work which is usually a pretty big deal. Everyone goes me..nuts. I'll post pics maybe tomorrow. It's insane. Anyway, the day started off on the wrong note. I was awakened at 4 am to bebe's gloworm playing music all of a sudden. I thought she woke up but she just hugged it. So of course could I sleep again? NO. I was up until 5:30 am when I thought, I better lay down for a bit more because "it's gonna be a long day." Yeah...nice that I woke up at 10 minutes to 8 am when I should be leaving. Not cool since I still had to finish my costume, make a CD for a friend and make sure I had everything to go. Grrr..
I managed to sew the last piece of my costume while standing in the kitchen and putting on my shoes. I still forgot Emily's diaper bag (because she would be joining me later in the day for my work Halloween party). *sigh* Well, I did pretty good considering.
By the time I got to work, I sat in my car to put my costume makeup on and I totally looked like a drag queen. It was disgusting. I was nearly in tears. I was so frustrated! I was also a complete b!tch. I felt quite upset that I was going to be the only troll so I looked and felt just dumb. I got over it though.
My dad was a bit late bringing bebe' to the party but it still worked out ok except for the fact that I dropped her socks in a puddle and therefore she had to go around in her adorable costume looking like a hillbilly with no socks on. *sigh again*
Something really bothered me today. There is a gentleman who works at work who is a little older than the majority of the employees. He is a fairly recent hire and is probably in his late 50s or early 60s. I saw that he signed up to bring something for the cookout and everything so I thought that was cool. However, at lunch time, I saw this gentleman and he was sitting at a table all by himself. It made me so upset. From the point I noticed this to at least the time I threw my plate away, no one had sat down with him. Did I? No. I regret this. I was starting to get very upset so I left to go find my dad and bebe'. I should have said hello and either invited him to sit with us or go sit with him. I wish I had. It's still bothering me. My momma told me that someone may have sat with him after I got up. I hope so. I wouldn't want to be in that position and I intend to say hello to that man on Monday and tell him that I really liked his green bean casserole :)
I get like this a lot...especially around this time of year. I start really feeling bad about things and can't get out of funks. I think it's seasonal or something.
We then left my work party and went to see Grandma at her work. We were both pooped. Did I get a nap? Nope. Had to send off an eBay item (woohoo!) and take care of business!
Well, this was sort of a ramshackle pointless post but perhaps tomorrow will be a better blogging day.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

What's up? (or should I say down?)

What's up? As the title of this blog states, I should say, "what's down?" What's down is my weight! Not by much but I've got a good start.
October 5th - start weight (Ha! Like I'd tell you....)

October 12th - -4 lbs

October 19th - -2.8 lbs

October 26th - +.4 lbs (I mistakenly read this earlier as +.2 lbs...oops!)

So in total, I am down 6.4 lbs since October 5th. It's not a lot but it's a start and I'm semi-proud of myself. I've really stuck to this as closely as I can. I think I'm doing ok. The 26th kind of made me very upset but I'll keep trying.

I also made a huge decision with regards to my addiction - Coke.
I have been very good at having only one soda a day since October 5th. I have had more than one on about 2 occasions but based on the principles I'm following, I was within the rules. Today, was different. I had my usual pop at lunch feeling completely guilty all the while. My coworkers K and C and I were talking when the conversation turned to my problem with pop and how C drinks Coke Zero and K enjoys Diet Dr. Pepper. I can't do diet. I just can't. I remember when my mom switched to Diet Pepsi and I felt like I was drinking cold medicine or something. That after-taste is just beyond anything I could tolerate. I was never able to get past it and now if I have a sip of diet, I feel like I'm going to gag. I know, I know, it's just a psychological thing but still...
I felt brave today. I, along with C and K's encouragement, bought a Coke Zero out of the vending machine to give it a try.
Oh. My. God. It was good..not just good, but pretty damn good! I quite enjoyed it! The after-taste I feared wasn't there and it was like I had discovered the most wonderful thing in the whole world. I truly, truly enjoyed it! I even....*gasp*...finished the entire bottle. Look! I have proof!

I am also in love with Morningstar Veggie burgers right now; especially the mushroom ones. Slap one on a sandwich thin with some mustard. YUMMEH! I haven't been very good this week. I'm trying but it was difficult a couple of days. I don't snack, my problem is just food in general at my meals. Grrr...BUT, I'm trying.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

A Birthday to Remember...

Last Sunday was Emily's first birthday party. Anyone who's anyone was there LOL Family included myself, Kurin, Grandma and Cedo, Grandma Debbie, Great Grandma Gay, Benjamin, Uncle Kevin, new Aunt Melissa, Cyndie, Aunt Brenda, Karen, Aunt Faye and Uncle Clyde, Teresa, and JoAnna, Aunt Violet and Uncle George, Aunt Marianne and Uncle Anwar with Kristine, Mark and Christina with Isabella, Ron and Cherryl with George and Jack. Friends that came were Auntie Danielle and Jeff with Orion, Leslie with Izak, and Audra with Madison and Mackenzie. I hope they all had a good time. We had thought that it would be nice out so we could utilize my parents' deck with the awning but it was a bit chilly so we all ended up in the house - a little too cozy if you ask me. I get all weird in crowded situations - that is why I do not go shopping the day after Thanksgiving..I usually have a panic attack (no joke). So, I was a hot mess both literally and figuratively. It was hot in the house with 800 people inside but I was also flustered because these 800 people were talking to me, asking me stuff, I'm trying to make sure all goes right blah blah. Thanks to my parents who basically did everything like, oh, providing the food and the house!
I got the beautiful cake at Queen of Hearts bakery in Depot Town. It was phenomenal. I never even got a piece! Gone!

The food was great - my parents made a couple of different Italian type casseroles with a nice salad and bread along with appetizers.
Bebe' even got her own little mini-cake complete with mini-ladybug decoration :) She was a little confused at first as to what to do with it so I assisted her in getting started.

She had a really good time. All of the kids were so good. I had no idea what to have for them so I didn't have any games or anything - they were all so well-behaved and entertained themselves. Emily and Izak (6 weeks apart) had a fab time together. Besties!
Bebe' got entirely too much stuff. Tons of beautiful outfits and lots of fun toys and books. We are very happy to have such a wonderful group of family and friends.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Always on My Mind

Today was a long, stressful day (but it was fun and worth it in the end). I thought I'd be asleep about 3 hours ago after Emily's big first birthday bash but I'm still awake because there are a few things on my mind.
1. What I thought was an incisional hernia probably isn't but it still worries because I'm not exactly sure what it is. Have I ever mentioned that I'm a hypochondriac?
2. I'm bothered that I tried to call a family member to see if they were coming to Emily's party (after not receiving an RSVP) and also to wish this person a Happy Birthday as she shares one with Emily. I left messages and never heard back. Another family member was able to get a hold of her. It just makes me sad.
3. I'm obsessed with GLEE
4. There's just not enough time for anything. I feel like I try to get things done but everything multiplies by 8 or something before I make a dent in anything like laundry, dishes, tidying up, etc.
5. I've cut myself down to 1 pop/day (well, today I fell off the wagon and had at least 2) in hopes of working on losing weight. I obviously have no time at the moment to dedicate a lot of time to exercise so I'm hoping that by watching what I eat and stuff I can at least give myself a kick start. I need to lose 92 pounds.
6. I'm obsessed with GLEE - see, I told you!
7. I miss Granny a lot
8. I need to finish this book! I'm loving it and need like a nice long afternoon or day off to just finish it.
9. I'm stressed. I just don't think my husband gets it.
10. My hands hurt because I dove for home plate this morning aka I fell on the sidewalk under the breezeway and slid across the pavement. Ouch.

More to follow on Emily's 1st Birthday....

Friday, October 9, 2009

Birthday Girl!

Today is Emily's 1st Birthday! Woo Hoo! We survived a whole year and she's still doing fine haha.
I won't go into any labor and delivery stories as I have none. I basically went to the hospital at noon like they told me for my scheduled c-section at 2pm. They pumped me full of fluid and I waited, and waited. There were several emergencies before me so I kept getting bumped which was fine.
They finally wheeled me to the operating room. That is when I got very scared. Up to that point, I had been like "whatev." No, literally, I probably said, "whatev." About 10 people wheeled me down there and I remember my anesthesiologist bumping the corner of the gurney into a doorway and saying something about his bad Asian driving (because he is Asian). Everyone in the halls of the Labor/Delivery area stopped as I was being wheeled by and wished me luck. It was very nice.
The OR was SO SCARY. It was huge and loud and clean. They bent me over to give me the epidural to numb me from the neck down. I laid back and got violently ill (which apparently is a side effect) but then I was fine. I couldn't feel a thing. It was very weird knowing they were cutting me open and taking out bebe' and not seeing it and not feeling it. I just kind of felt them moving around. I remember the anesthesiologist and his partner talking about the Red Wings. Kurin was sitting there but I don't remember him doing anything except when they got her out, he went to take pictures of her because I obviously couldn't see her or move.
I also remember a lot of counting after the fact. I learned later that it was the nurses counting all of the instruments before and after (thank goodness everything was accounted for or they may have left something in me!).
Poor bebe', she came out and you hear all of this hustle and bustle to get the baby all cleaned up and checked over and she had a little fluid on her lungs and she was clamshelled. This means that her feet were up at her ears like she was folded in half. Apparently, when Kurin showed the pics to our family waiting in the waiting room, they were all a little worried because, her feet were by her ears! They whisked her off to the NICU to get her breathing stabilized and check all of her oxygen and fix her legs and stuff.

It took SO long for my anesthesia to wear off. It was weird. They wheeled me to my Mother/Baby room where I would spend the next 3 nights. They did manage to wheel me into the NICU so I could see Emily. She was hooked up to a million things and it was way scarier now than when it was happening. I couldn't do anything. I was still frozen from the medicine.
That night was weird, I had the baby, but didn't have her until they took me down to her at about 9pm to try to nurse her which in itself was so scary because it was the first time I held her, first time to nurse and she was hooked up to all kinds of stuff and I was scared and frustrated. They thought she'd get to come stay in my room the next day as all of her stuff seemed to be doing really well. Surprise! I tried to feed her again at midnight and when I got back to my room, they followed me back and she could stay! She was doing just fine :)
She was squeaky. There wasn't really crying, just little squeaks.
I love her.

It sounds weird but in a way, I miss her. I miss having all of my time with her when she was just little and holding her. Maternity leave was so good for us. I just sat with her all day.

Now she's a big girl who shakes her head no and likes to take her pants off and play with dog toys *sigh*
This weekend is the big birthday bash so more to come...
Happy Birthday, Emily! I love you more than anything :)

Thursday, October 1, 2009

You Wasting My Life!

A tribute to a dear friend (no, there's nothing wrong with her or anything..I just appreciate her and the humor she brings to my life)...

I work with a a wide variety of people of all different ages, races, and nationalities. One of my favorite people to work with is Dr. L.H. (I will refer to her as L for this post). L is Chinese and she - is - awesome. What makes L awesome? Probably the greatest thing is her sense of humor.
Allow me to give you an example (it's funny to those who work with her so it may not be that funny to you but it's cute): At one point in time, several years ago, L thought that our superiors felt that she didn't work hard and wasted a lot of time (which in my opinion is totally untrue and I think she knows that now as well). One day, one of these superiors saw L with a large container of water and that she was using a very tiny container to move the water to another large container (rather than pouring one into the other). He asked, "L, what are you doing?" Her answer, as she continued what she was doing, "Oh....I just wasting time." Well, even that got a laugh out of the superior.
Often times when asked how she is or how things are going when she is stressed or being funny, her reply will often be "oh, you know, just wasting my life" or "same ole shit (said "sheet").
She is one of the nicest people that I know and I enjoy listening to her tell stories about her two children who "drive her crazy!", China and Chinese culture. I was fortunate enough to attend a conference with just her about 6 years ago in Bethesda, MD (Washington D.C. area) and we had a great time.
What triggered me to write this is an incident from yesterday. It was just something small but again, her sense of humor can just make my day. Yesterday, L came into our area and we always like to tease her by saying things like "uh-oh, here comes L" even though we all love her. I'm not exactly sure what happened but I just heard her yelling across the lab "..something, something, drive me crazy! duck, duck chicken!" Really fast. When I repeated it, she cracked up laughing because obviously she had not said duck, duck, chicken but some kind of Chinese swear words.
In conclusion, I just wanted to say to L, I adore you my little Asian friend and will always enjoy your company..even when you lie to me and say that you know Jackie Chan (I always ask her if she knows him) and even the times you make me eat chicken feet. :)